As I sit here at the start of 2025, I find myself reflecting on what it truly means to be grateful. This isn’t the typical New Year’s resolution post, nor is it some sugar-coated sentiment about positivity. For me, gratitude is complicated, raw, and deeply personal.

In January of 2022, I experienced what I can only describe as a breakdown—a mental implosion that unraveled me in ways I never imagined. The world felt like it was closing in, and I couldn’t breathe under the weight of it all. I’ve since come to understand it as a form of psychosis, a term that felt foreign at first but has since become part of my story.

Back then, gratitude wasn’t even on my radar. My mind was a storm of fear, confusion, and helplessness. I questioned everything—my choices, my identity, my ability to pull myself out of the darkness. And yet, in the weeks and months that followed, a strange thing happened. As I began to recover, gratitude emerged—not as a fleeting feeling, but as a lifeline.

Gratefulness became a practice. It wasn’t about listing my blessings or forcing myself to see the bright side; it was about survival. On some days, I was grateful just to get out of bed. On others, it was the sound of my daughters laughing, the grounding touch of my wife’s hand, or the simple act of making a cup of tea. Gratitude wasn’t grand or performative—it was small, deliberate, and deeply personal.

Looking back, that breakdown was a turning point. It shattered me, yes, but it also forced me to rebuild. And in that rebuilding, I found a version of myself that could hold space for both the pain and the joy of life. Gratefulness, I realized, wasn’t just about the good things—it was about embracing the complexity of it all.

So here I am, in 2025, carrying that lesson forward. Gratefulness now feels like a promise to myself. It’s not about denying the struggles but about finding meaning in them. It’s about recognizing that the very act of enduring is something to be grateful for.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that gratitude is transformative. It shifts your perspective, even when life feels insurmountable. It teaches you to find light in the darkest corners and to appreciate the smallest moments that tether you to the present.

This year, I want to honor that journey. I want to live with gratitude not because it’s trendy or expected but because it’s real. It’s messy, imperfect, and hard-earned—and that’s what makes it powerful.

To anyone reading this, if you’ve ever felt broken or lost, know that gratitude isn’t about fixing everything. It’s about holding onto the moments that remind you of why you keep going. For me, gratitude isn’t just a feeling—it’s the reason I’m still here.

Here’s to 2025, a year of authenticity, growth, and finding beauty in the messiness of life. Let’s hold space for all of it—the pain, the joy, and everything in between.

Near Kelona BC