Lately, I’ve been dealing with a tenant—the kind who pays month-to-month and hasn’t been late by more than a week, but who is a real pain to handle. He’s quirky, mean, rude, and disrespectful. Yesterday, he even showed up in my dream, which was just strange.

Today, we were sorting out some issues, like getting the garbage to the street—he lives in the basement—and again, it was a struggle dealing with him. I asked my wife, “Can you believe how mean and disrespectful he is?” I even told her I wanted out of the group chat because it’s bad for my mental space.

But then my mind drifted to January, and all the snow Toronto got this year. It reminded me of a few years back, also in January, when I was taken to a hospital in Etobicoke, to the psychiatric ward. In the car, I was convinced I was being followed by a helicopter—and maybe a police car for a while. There actually was a police car behind us, but I’ll never be sure if it was really following us or if it was the psychosis, a mental breakthrough… who knows.

January is tough. It’s a tough month, especially after Christmas. And the lie of Christmas retail is just horrible. All those poems and sermons about sacrifice and life—would Jesus really have wanted this? Would he have wanted all these baby trees cut down, hauled to FreshCo, and sold to people who’ll eventually just throw them to the curb? Is that what his message was? I don’t know.

What they don’t tell you about Christmas is the evictions that follow, the bills that can’t be paid, the relationships that break in January. For Canadians, it’s dark—we’re often snowed in for days. It’s hard. January in Canada is a hard, hard month. Even though I’m not there now, I still feel the pain of January. My heart goes out to all those suffering through the system’s design, and I hope we can all break on through to the other side.

I remember a teacher from Quebec—a truly awesome teacher—who stayed with us. She was around her late 50s or early 60s. She said, “I can deal with everything, but January is hard. January is death. But after that, you can be reborn.” Spring in Canada will give you another life. I guess that’s the main encouragement in enduring January: knowing that there will be a spring… And you will be reborn

And you can be reborn in anything your heart desires. You can shed your fear in January.